Why We Don’t Say “Thank You for Your Service” for Wounded Warriors

This post was inspired by an article written for BuzzFeed by Scott Janssen.

Scott Janssen, a hospice social worker specializing in terminally ill veterans, argues that the reflexive habit of thanking veterans for their service can be emotionally harmful and deeply alienating for some. Drawing from a powerful encounter with a combat veteran named James, the essay explores how seemingly well-meaning gestures—like handing out flag pins and public praise—can trigger trauma and reinforce the very denial that prevents meaningful healing.

James, a former Iraq War soldier struggling with PTSD and moral injury, reacts strongly against being thanked. To him, “service” is a euphemism that whitewashes the brutal, dehumanizing, and often morally ambiguous realities of war. He describes his experience not as noble or patriotic, but as a betrayal—by politicians, military leaders, and a public that prefers sanitized heroism over uncomfortable truths.

Janssen explains that many dying veterans carry enormous emotional burdens—memories of violence, guilt, grief, and shame—that they’ve often suppressed for decades. As they face death, these buried truths resurface. Automatically thanking them for their “service,” he says, can silence their stories, reinforce societal denial about the horrors of war, and rob them of a chance to process their pain.

Instead, Janssen chooses not to thank veterans by default. He believes that withholding this ritualized gratitude creates a safer space for authentic conversations, where veterans feel seen and heard without judgment. He emphasizes that some veterans appreciate being thanked, but many feel that such gestures reflect a shallow cultural script that ignores their deeper wounds and questions.

Ultimately, the essay challenges civilians to confront the truth about war, to abandon euphemisms that sanitize killing, and to hold space for the raw, often disturbing realities veterans carry. Only then, Janssen argues, can we offer them real respect—and take responsibility for the consequences of the wars fought in our name.